Home is where the HEART is....

Home is where the HEART is...... heard this word many times. We have wonderful & fulfill summer trip, the journey start from CV Graduate Program in Thailand, (Bangkok & Hua Hin) both place is very difference, in term of atmosphere, peoples, energy, natural and my emotion.

I like Bangkok as well as Hua Hin.... Hua Hin provide serenity. peace and quiet mind, blended in together with natural, start eating healthy, and do more exercise.. as one of our activities is to Swim every morning with my girls friend. 

Next stop is Bhutan, next to Nepal... Land of Happiness!! Everything is so amazing, the mountain, peoples, leaning progress, Food. I have a big breakthrough for myself that I have been holding on, much more connected with everyone in our group, feel so light and ALIVE in this whole journey. It is really fabulous and awesome experience.

Short trip to Shangri-la, Kunming, Learning how to breath everyday, back to basic in life!! As we are on top of the mountain and the height there 3300 meter. Lots of first time in this summer trip, understand about everything is temporary, we can't holding on everything we have, even our own breath, while you breath in.... then you have to breath out! Looking over the himalaya, from the meditation early morning, I discovered about myself "Oneness" Wow!! what a big wake up call, got deeper understand about Universe Law, we are not belong to ourselves.

During Hong Kong trip for a week, allowing myself back to childhood time, allowing my playfulness & fun part showing up. As I choose to go Disney land with Kev, and we have a great time together, I feel so excited even walking on the street with crowd. Enjoyed the dinner night with Hong Kong CVer too, because everyone of us able to share authentic and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. 

Back to Shenzhen to start B.E class, totally difference energy here, class went well and awesome, witness so many change, we are like brother and sister and able to hold each other hand to walked through life journey. Let Awareness to be our based and attitude & Skill leading us to be greater Leader. CV definitely is a leadership training, as it is not only focus to be a Family leader, organization leader, society leader and also Your own life leader.

While we are on the way to Hong Kong airport, going through ferry... I saw this slogan " HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS" 家是人在情在。Appreciate for this special journey as I invest my time with peoples very important in my life!! and every where is my home. 

Now back to Kuching..... and next week visit my mother. Hope that I cans spend more time to describe my journey and feeling..... but lots of work to do!! Haha!! Illusion! I love you all!

One Paragraph That Explain Life!

Recently I received good article from email... here is another great one!! Hope you enjoyed!

ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE! 

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.. 

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"? 

To this Arthur Ashe replied: 

"The world over, 50 million  children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the  grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'. And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' " 

"Happiness keeps you Sweet, 
Trials keep you Strong, 
Sorrow keeps you Human, 
Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, 
But only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...” 
 

I miss Ace!!

Time passed, it have been long time never visit Ace Chua…. By reading his blog wrote by his creative mum Angel http://www.verityy.blogspot.com/ I am able to know what is going on in his life. I think that is helpful for Ganma Evon & also his clari yeye in France.

Although I really seldom see him much often, but since Angel’s pregnant, my heart told me that I want to be Ganma for my “Jie mei Hua” Son!! And so coincident Ace surname is CHUA, it make me even feel our relationship so close.

When I really miss him I will definitely will go to the blogs and check up what are he doing right now, he is so clever and charming, always make his parent “Tak boleh tahan.” Few month ago, Angel’s told me that their whole family might migrate to Dubai, immediately I am thinking “Oh my god so far away”  but Kev re-action is so difference, he said: Yeah! We have excuse to go Dubai and visit them.  Haha!!

Suppose to go Singapore this few day, that is one of my plan too, but neck really pain and not enough sleep, not suitable for me to drive all the way to Singapore. So my next trip will be June…. Hopefully we are able to make it to celebrate his early birthday!! As I really miss him, like to hear his voice while he is talking.  While he called “Ganma Evon” so sweet!!  Why I feel so connected with him leh!! I think is Love & “yuan Feng”.  Thank you Angel & Maximum! See you soon!

Unconditional Acceptance

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college  degree. 

The last  class I had to take was Sociology. 

The teacher  was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human  being had been graced with.  Her last  project of the term was called, 'Smile.' 

The class was  asked to go out and smile at three people and document their  reactions.

I am a very  friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I  thought this would be a piece of cake, literally. 

Soon after we  were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to  McDonald's one crisp March morning. 

It was just  our way of sharing special playtime with our son. 

We were  standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone  around us began to back away, and then even my  husband did. 

I did not  move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me  as I turned to see why they had moved. 

As I turned  around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing  behind me were two poor homeless men. 

As I looked  down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was  'smiling' 

His beautiful  sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for  acceptance. 

He said,  'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been  clutching.. 

The second  man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend.. I realized the  second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his  salvation. 

I held my tears as I stood there  with them. 

The young lady at the counter  asked him what they wanted.. 

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss'  because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the  restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be  warm). 

Then I really felt it - the  compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man  with the blue eyes. 

That is when I noticed all eyes in the 

restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. 

I smiled and asked the young lady  behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate  tray. I then walked around the corner to  the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on  the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold  hand.. 

He looked up at me, with tears in  his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.' 

I leaned over, began to pat his  hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through  me to give you hope.' 

I started to cry as I walked away  to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and  said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me  hope..' 

We held hands for a moment and at  that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given  were we able to give. 

We are not church goers, but we  are believers. 

That day showed me the pure Light  of God's sweet love. 

I returned to college, on the last  evening of class, with this story in hand. 

I turned in 'my project' and the  instructor read it. 

Then she looked up at me and said,  'Can I share this?' 

I slowly nodded as she got the  attention of the class. 

She began to read and that is when  I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to  heal people and to be healed. 

In my own way I had touched the  people at McDonald's, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a  college student. 

I graduated with one of the  biggest lessons I would ever learn: 

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. 

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to 

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -

NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.. 

Love yourself!

There is many way to do Self Affirmation, Self empowered or keep my spirits and energy high. I always use many way to give myself re-charge & move on.

Sometime word just flow... so be prepared to listen to your inner voice and follow your heart.

1) Pick up a self Affirmation card, my today message is:

As I say YES to life, Life Says YES to me!

Life mirrors my every thought. As I keep my thoughts positive,

Life brings to me only good experiences.

2) Look at the mirror, look deep into your own eye, communicate with myself:

Today is your best day!! 

You are so unique and special, remember who you are,

as I truly know you can bring so much Fun, joy, meaningful in to your life.

Be strong, have the courage to contribute to the world.

3) Sent an text message to peoples you care!! My today text message is.....

It's only a thought and a thought can be changes.

We are not limited by any past thinking. Choose our thoughts with care.

Constantly have new insights and awareness of looking at our world.

I am willing to change and grow. I wish you are willing to do that too.

4) Go to nature, look up to the sky and I said: 

I am so grateful that I am able to live life to the fullest, My family members is healthy, happy and they are responsible to their own life and able to take care of themselves.

I am so grateful that I am able to travel around the world, seeing difference culture, meeting great peoples, having a best meals, and living an happy life.

I have perfect health, I listen to my body messages with love and know that if I am experiencing pain, there is something I need to know and to work on.

5) Write awareness Journal..... with new choice and appreciation.

I choose Love, I choose Life and I choose Joy!!

I believe that prosperity of every kind is drawn to me.

Life is a joy filled with delightful surprises!

Your presence contribute to the world!

Lots of peoples think that they have to do something BIG, so they are able to contribute to the community or the world. By just a authentic "smile" to the stranger, appreciate to peoples the help you, maybe in the air tickets counter, toll station, public toilet, you already make their day!!

Your presence is a present to the world.
You are unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you love it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You will make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Do not put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak & intention, not your goal and status.

Nothing wastes more energy than keep worrying.
The longer carries a problem the heavier it gets.
Do not take things too personally.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that true love … goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasure are people together.

Realize that it is never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take the time to appreciate life beginning of the day

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET …... How SPECIAL you are!

THE SAINT, THE SURFER, AND THE CEO – Robin Sharma

I read this book long time ago “The Saint, The Surfer and the CEO” By Robin Sharma, So impress that there is a lot of things that we have been learned in CV, and the way he interpret it in difference way.  And again it reminds me of what I learned from CV.

I got about this 20 key lesson to share with all of you….

Just finishing the Chapter 1 – New Beginning

1) The buying of more books that one can read is nothing less than the soul reaching toward infinity, and this passion is the only thing that raises us above the beasts that perish.

2) Relationship comes to us as assignments. Some last for weeks, Some for a lifetime – but they all come to teach us big lessons that are meant to spur our growth as people.

3) Our Highest responsibility is to do our own interior work. To examine yourself and get to know the real you – your true self – and all you are as a human being is the central aim of life. Genuine success in life is an inside job.

4) The greatest gifts of life are the inner gifts that are only revealed to those with the courage to look beyond the surface of their lives.

5) Final Questions in Life: Did I live wisely? Did I Love well? And Did I serve greatly?

6) We are born to present is a gifts to the world, but they way that set up before we can shine as a person, we have to choose to do some inner work, getting to know yourself, look at our limiting beliefs and recreate them, analyze the false assumptions about what you can be, have and do as a person and then set about correcting them, become aware of our historical patterns of reacting in the different scenarios of your life and re-create them, Tackle your fear and move through , then open up your heart and be more concerned about the happiness of other people and ourselves.

7) Most of us deny our feelings. Society has taught us to do that. From a young age, we divorce ourselves from the way we feel. We’re told not to cry, we’re told not to laugh too loud, and we’re told that it’s wrong to feel sad or even to experience anger. But our feelings are neither right nor wrong – they’re simply our feelings and an essential part of the human experience.

8) If we deny our feeling and we begin to shut down part of ourselves and will lose the connection to whom we truly are. Beginning living completely in our head and we will stop feeling.

9) Our mind is a nonstop chattering machine and we have no inner peace. So we stopped living in the present moment and feeling what it’s like to be fully alive, and become too busy living in the past or future. Mind rarely lives in the present moment.

10) Old Saying goes, “ When the student is ready. The teacher appears.”

11) Many of us are stuck. We don’t believe in the great dreams we had as kids anymore, we don’t believe we have the power to create the lives we want. We don’t think that we can really make a difference by the things we do.”

12) We have phenomenal power within us; we’ve just lost our connection to it. Part of the reason for this is fear. The possibilities available to us in our lives are truly miraculous. The wonders we have the potential to create in our lives. Once we align with the force of nature, are astounding – They really are. But all this potential also brings with it certain responsibilities and this frightens us. So we don’t believe in ourselves. We deny our power and set up blocks the achievement of the extraordinary lives that we’re meant to lead.

13) An enlightenment goal that every person should strive for is INNER LEADERSHIP.

14) Leadership is all about personal responsibility, self-discovery, and creating value in the world by the people we become.

15) Too many spend their lifetime blaming others for all that isn’t working in their lives. Blaming others for the current quality of your life is a sad way to live. In doing so, all you’re doing is playing the victim.

16) The only way to life your life to the next level is to act like a leader and assume real leadership over your life. The moment you look in the mirror and say to yourself, from the deepest place within you, “ For my life to change, I must change” – that’s the moment you’ll grow up and walk through a doorway that will lead you to your best life.”

17) We get our Power back as we assume responsibility for the destiny that has been presented you us. Stop resisting our life and accept what is. Aligned ourselves with those immutable laws of nature, laws that have always governed the way the life works, from the beginning of time.

18) Reflection is the mother of wisdom.

19) ”If I have seen father than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.”- Isaac Newton.

20) Everything appeal in your life is meant to be, that’s just the way the world works,”……… Life truly is beautiful!! 

想你的时刻－ 辛福的味道

今天在萱萱（我的小妹）的Facebook看到这一个短文，很多的感动，想必这也是他对爸爸的表达方式。谢谢萱萱，好棒的短文。

在此和你们分享：

下過雨的藍天 . 彩虹浮現你的臉 . 那是小時候 . 被你抱著來到海邊 . 海風很鹹 . 幸福很甜 . 寬闊的肩 . 任我撒嬌又賴又黏 . 孤單單的黑夜 . 星星映照你雙眼 那是你走後 . 望著窗外孤枕難眠 . 眼淚很鹹 . 幸福走味 . 回憶無限 . 只能透過字裡行間 . 你離開的那一天 . 匆忙間 . 來不及說再見 . 失去你的這几天 . 沒改變 . 數不完的思念 . 是玩笑還是考驗 . 我們緣分那麼淺 . 好想許一個願 . 讓我再見你一面 . 要一個有你的永遠 .

这是姐姐写给爸爸的：

那是小时侯，美丽的傍晚，骑着你的电单车， 抱着你的腰围，依赖着你的背部，这是我和你的约会，辛福的看电影。

不久前的今天，你到机场迎接我，一样是美丽的傍晚，你做在车上唱歌给我听，这是我和你的空间，辛福的时刻。

清晨的日出， 我和你在医院里，你拂摸着我的头发，轻声的要我去休息，这是我和你的沟通，辛福的回忆。

刚下过雨的傍晚，你的离开彷佛是一场梦，很多的思念，我选择活的更好，更充实。因为这是送给你最辛福的礼物。

Deep Appreciation for your love & support!!

Dear Family & Friends,

Really Appreciate for your love & Support!!

Your support and thoughtfulness during my difficult time is really meant a lots to me, by how much you care, you are blessed my life & my family.

Your encouraging words have strengthened me, grant me the peace & serenity to accept things that I cannot change, what I can do is have the courage & strength to change the things that i can do and the wisdom to know more about life.

In the journey of life, my dad leave a mark so deep that it become hard to forget him, It is hard to say good bye to peoples that I love the most, but what brought me to no regret is I had shown my gratitude and love when he was still alive. 

Sorrow are like ripples, they come & go...... the memories of good time that we spend together remain forever, no matter how far he go.... he always remain close to my heart because he leave behind is how he show up and the beautiful memories for us to cherish.

Again... it reminds me how to live my life to the FULLEST, I am so grateful know you in my life, as a great friend and sister. THANK YOU for showing up in my life!!

With appreciation & love

Evon

BE STRONG

This journal writing to myself and my father, I am in KK right now, just received a phone call from my brother, my dad is really go through his painful time of his physical health issue, my mother not sleeping for 3 days, everybody is the family is helpless and my aunt is taking charge now, I truly trust her and support her as i know I am not there, I can't do anything, but I go through my emotional moment. As I am human too...... I need to keep on breathing. believing that he will go through it and he will be strong! 

I am listen to "reflection of love" music from CV, to let myself calm down.  I feel lots of love flow into my heart, doing the inhale & exhale excises taught by teacher Linda, inhale the unconditional love "Pink" colour, inhale "blue" as the healing colour. and exhale the grey colour. I do that for a while, it is really help. To allow myself back to present and be calm and understand what is going on right now.  At this moment, instead of jogs my journal, I felt like give myself a special message here. Trust universe, trust my dad, he will be stronger. Thank you for all the blessing and love. I believe he will be getting better. 

Just reading a wonderful message by George Chin, whose use to be comedian  in 1980. Here is the message, hope you enjoyed it......and inspiring by the message.

Spend some time with your love one, 

because they are not going to be around forever.

REMEMBER to give a warm HUG to the one next to you,

because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

REMEMBER to hold a hand and cherish the moment,

for someday that person will not be there again.

REMEMBER to say " I LOVE YOU: to your partner and your loved one, 

but most of all mean it.

A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt, when it comes from deep inside you.

Give time to love,

Give time to Speak.

Give time to share.

The precious thought in your mind and always REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

it is measured by the moments that take our breath away!

CV Kidz Blog

Hello everyone!! Wow amazing!! This is the word that best describe CV Kids Blog, and I believe it is a most popular CV Blog right now. 

I am one of their big Fan, all the article is so inspiring, the most important is I felt they really express authentically, with beautiful picture some more!! I learn a lots from this blog and enjoyed it very much, I believe you will enjoyed too, www.cvkidz.blogspot.com.

Here is one of the acticle by Natalie, Sarah, Nana.

Natalie: Before CV, I used to read the WHOLE day. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. I read 2 quarters of a day, at least. I read about 200 books a year, if my calculations are correct.
What's wrong with that? Well, reading too much consumes a LOT of your time, especially when the book is so enthralling that you can't bear to put it down. My family was always nagging me to put down the book, and take a look at what is behind those pages, to spend time with them. (My sister and brother had this serious opposition against books then) Stories can be real or pure fiction, but either way it is NOT real for you. It may be real for the author, but not for you. Sorry to disappoint you, but reading too much doesn't necessarily help you gain knowledge. Everything has to be in balance.

Sarah: Before CV, I, like Natalie, was also a bookworm. That time, only my father went to CV. He is almost like begging me too put MY book down, or take my eyes off the TV. Whenever he took the book in my hand away, I always have a spare one on my chair, just in case. He asked me why I would want to read while eating. I used this excuse : rice is so boring to look at. But now I know that that time, I just wanted to ESCAPE. Escape from questions that my family may ask. That time, I used to hate CV because I thought CV is separating my father from us. But after I came to CV, I found out that CV actually pulls our relationship close. Although sometimes I still do read or watch TV while eating, we began having lively talks at dinner. One of the reasons we didn't do that before CV is because my father works so hard that he doesn't have time to have dinner with us. But CV truly changed his life. Now, he makes some space in his work so that he can have dinner with us. Even if he can't catch up with dinner ( since sometimes he comes home at about 8 something at night ), I still talk to him after I get ready, though it is not exactly like what we do in CV ( not even like what we do at the dinner table ), I don't mind. Being able to talk with my father, even for a short period of time, I feel good, really good. Well, I guess that it's right to say that nothing beats your family. No, I don't guess, I am 100% sure.

Nana: Hi, I am Nana. I am Natalie's sister. And my sister loves reading, but I am different. I love much other things. Thats why everybody is special in their own way.
I wrote an e-mail to my CV3 classmates and other people that I admire the most and love the most, and Linda even talked about it (in the bridge call). Wow! I can't believe it that such little things can make a whole difference. Cool! So I want to share what CV brought me.
First of all,they taught me that you shouldn't keep waiting until you regret because in my CV3 I don't want to share. I waited until the last day of CV ( The last day that I can see my classmates of CV3 ) then I only really go and share with my heart, without thinking . Haha...
Second of all ,is that you don't have to think to share what you feel because that sentence: 'What do you FEEL like Sharing' doesn't meant quickly think of what to share. You know that you need to use your heart to share. That is very important because on the last day of CV3 a classmate of mine asked me to tell her what I was going to say, and I answered that I don't need to think. She told me what she was going to say. I think she really gave me that strong awareness. Haha...
So now just till here cant go to far cause there is more coming up.
Love,Nana

Natalie: Other than being a read-a-holic, I had what I thought was shyness. I'd cower behind my parents when any guests came, when i was younger. Just before CV, when I was around 10 years old, I'd pretend that I was doing something else, or just hide. What it really was is this 'illness' called No-self-esteem-itis. I always had these visions that I'd screw up on every move in front of others. It must be some painful moment in the past that made me that way. I wonder what it is...maybe I hid it in myself. When I went to primary one, I could easily tell that I was way ahead of my classmates...but I didn't dare to actually show it. My English was better, because I went to an English kindergarten, but my Chinese was partially rotten. 
So every day at school was very painstaking; I tried to suppress myself, not showing what I can do. I faked that my English is at the same level as theirs, and my Chinese is as good as them. No such luck. Teachers kind of see through you. They KNOW when you are faking, and when you are genuine. Do they teach that in teacher training courses? So they were praising me about my talents, and everyone was looking up to me. Sure, you think I enjoyed it. NOT! It was very very embarrassing for me back then. All these parents asking me questions, classmates borrowing my homework... All very overwhelming for a little girl. But after CV, I feel much more confident and I know how to deal with this...popularity. :)
We truly hope our perspectives help you.
Love,
Nat, Sarah & Nana

Appreciate life!!

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

 Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

 This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

 Life Is a Gift

 Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.

Kuching CV3 (Jan 28-31)

We just finished another fantastic CV1 & CV3 in Kuching!! Guest what!! There is 3 generation in CV3 class, from the older 65 year old to 9 year old kids, and they are all from 5 difference countries, Brunei, Bhutan, Malaysia, Singapore & China. The whole class is so connected, bonded and they learned so much from each other.

Many funny event happened during the CV3 exercise, Linda partnered a little girl with a mother, both of them decided to catch grasshoppers, these was very meaningful experience for the mother as it is connected to her daily life, their intention was to show it to teacher Linda, but it ended up in the wrong hands, they show it to 2 students near the pond and the 2 students mistook it for special fish food and “plop” they throw it into the pond. The partners were shock!! But during the class, 4 of the students share this experience from difference perspective, these allows teacher Linda to bring the lesson to a higher level. She explains that the meaning that we connect to grasshopper is difference. The CV3 class learned a lot that day, as we always say, every CV class is unique and adds more colour into the CV History.

 

妻子的空位 ~ Irreplaceable

A story worth sharing

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet  and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

 "Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by....Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was :  The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash. 

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a  'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.  I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

是一篇很值得分享的故事 .... 妻子的空位

我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。 

為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。 

兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」

我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。 

自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。 

就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門?f，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去 
看才藝表演的日子。 

發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。 

時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」 

當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」

我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。 

而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。 

親愛的媽媽： 
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」 

讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？ 

我的感言：

又一个感人的故事，很多时候当我在读故事时，内容是很重要可是往往我会问自己，我学到什么？它要带给我们的又是什么？对我来说，我们没有人是可以取代彼此的，因为每一个人都是那么的独一无二， 我们都是个体的。对一个人的离开，当然会伤感，我们能够给她最棒的礼物就是活出最精彩的生命，把她最美好的回忆留下，然侯成为自己，做到最好，而不是尝试去完成对方的意愿。说的容易，可是这就是我们最棒的礼物。